Saturday, April 17, 2010

Wherein We Vote: Part the Second, Round the Second... AND I BOYCOTT!

One of my favorite episodes of Iron Chef took place on May 21, 1999. In a nine-episode stretch, Chairman Kaga's Iron Chefs went 3 and 6. Outraged, the eccentric trillionaire with a penchant for Liberace's hand-me-downs boycotted the next match, leaving "Dr." Yukio Hattori to host the program. Confused and embarrassed, Hattori-san revealed the appalling secret ingredient - SUCKLING PIG. And so, television history was made. Chairman Kaga was found lurking in the shadows, daintily sipping champagne from a crystal flute. Iron Chef Chen Kenichi fried a whole pig head in a wok. And yes, I share this historical event with you dear readers:

Why would I take all this time to recount to you this awesomely powerful story? Frankly, I am outraged. Let me tell you why:
Argument 1: Is no one even cognizant of the fact that JERRY ORBACH (a.k.a. Det. Lenny Briscoe) sang "Be Our Guest" in Beauty and the Beast? Just look at his reaction to your huge mistake, voters!

Argument 2: BE PREPARED IS THE FINEST SONG PENNED BY ANYONE IN THE EMPLOY OF THE WALT DISNEY COMPANY IN THE LAST 20 YEARS! Music by SIR Elton John. Lyrics by SIR Timothy Miles Bindon Rice. British nobility, dear voters! Not only that, the song has so much intensity that Jeremy Irons was rendered unable to finish singing the song and thus Jim Cummings (a.k.a. Darkwing Duck) had to replicate his voice in order to complete it.
In short, I am very upset with all of you and will thus dress like my hero, the enigmatic Chairman Kaga, and lurk in the shadows drinking champagne as you vote on the next round. Here is Maria with the decidedly UN-Happy Recap. Dearest?

Wow, honey. That was...special. Not all of the results in this vote were unhappy, at least not for me, but they were most certainly tense, and will elicit more commentary!

-"Be a Man" barely edged out "Be Our Guest," inciting boos from the rafters, but I sympathize. It was a tough choice, and I'm not sad. I'm just glad that Jerry Orbach isn't around to see the results. (Too soon?) Anyway, "Be a Man" will face "Gaston" in the Sweet 16, which as we know, eliminated Willie's favorite song from the competition. WILL THE DRAMA EVER END?
-"Friend Like Me" won a decisive victory over "Hakuna Matata" and will be matched up with...wait. Another tie? Nobody could determine a winner between "A Whole New World" and "Under the Sea"?! This is the one that made me outraged, but luckily the internet agreed that "A Whole New World" was the better choice, and so it will live to see another round.
-"Heigh Ho" and "When You Wish Upon a Star" were both strong competitors, but it's "Heigh Ho" that will advance to the Sweet 16, against "Once Upon a Dream," which defeated another tough competitor in "When I See an Elephant Fly." It's tough, my friends, but imagine how hard it will be when it's the final 2!
-Finally, "Bear Necessities" proved to be the favorite Jungle Book song over "I Wanna Be Like You," and will meet "Cruella De Vil" in the Sweet 16, which beat out "Bella Notte."

To find the other eight participants in the Sweet 16, we must now continue Round 2 with our remaining brackets, the "Mary Poppins Bracket" and the miscellaneous "Walt Disney Bracket." With our famed announcer Willie lurking in the shadows, unable to provide you with the pomp and circumstance of his bombastic prose, I guess all I can say is "allez cuisine." Or something. So yeah, you'll have until Monday at 11:59 PM to vote on these songs. And here they are now!

From the Mary Poppins Bracket:

And from the Walt Disney Bracket:

Have fun, everybody! Hopefully Willie will stop sulking after this one.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Disney Bracket Abideth - ENTER ROUND II

Exceptional turnout last time - let's see if we can't get even more people to vote this time. Well everyone has voted on all 64 Songs in this Tournament of Disney. I was somewhat surprised with just how heated and close some of these polls were. In fact, we had a BIT of a problem in the contest that pitted The Nightmare Before Christmas' "This is Halloween" and the beloved "Scrooge" from The Muppet Christmas Carol in what can only be called a Christmas Grudge Match.

Since the poll has closed, I don't mind voicing my own opinion, which is that any song containing the line, "No crust of bread for those in need / No cheeses for us meeses" is vastly superior to any other conceivable song. That said, Maria in her unfathomable wisdom came up with what I consider a FAIR & BALANCED™ method for choosing the winner of this deadlocked vote. She entered the name of the movie from which the movie hailed in parentheses followed by the song's title in parentheses (i.e. "Muppet Christmas Carol" "Scrooge") in the Google search engine. The song that produced the most results won - so congratulations to Tim Burton. Cough. Hack. Anyway, this is the method that will be used in the event of another tie in the future. Maria will now provide us with the rest of the recap.

-"It's a Small World" was found superior to the "Mouseketeers" theme, and will meet "Carrying the Banner" in Round 2, which ousted "Now is the Time."
-Pretty much only Willie voted for the Carousel of Progress, so unsurprisingly, "King of New York" will face "Feels Like Christmas" in Round 2, which edged out "Grim Grinning Ghosts."
-"This is Halloween" moves on to Round 2, as we learned above, along with "You Got a Friend in Me," which beat "Seize the Day."
-Finally, "Yo Ho" barely squeezed out "After Today," and will square off against "What's This" in Round 2, which won against "The Sorcerer's Apprentice."

So now we move on to the long-awaited Round 2! Things will move faster from here on out! In Round 2, you will vote on two brackets' worth of match-ups at a time, which will still end up being 8 polls. These will be tougher decisions, friends, but you will still have only 3 days to vote. These next polls will close Friday night (4/16) at 11:59 PM.

As a side note, I realized that due to my (still Maria btw) lack of knowledge about brackets and college basketball, I messed up on the seed numbers, (i.e. the winner of Seed 1 vs. Seed 16 should be paired against the winner of 8 vs. 9 in Round 2. I put it against the winner of 2 vs. 15. Oops.) BUT, since the seeds were randomly assigned anyway, IT DOESN'T MATTER. I APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING! So yeah, it might look a little weird.

Here are your ROUND TWO match-ups from "The Lion King Bracket":

And here are your match-ups from "The Snow White Bracket":

Some of these are nail-biters! Enjoy!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Disney Song Vote: Part the First. Round the Fourth.

I am somewhat disappointed with voter turnout in this last round. It appeared that people were unfamiliar with the songs and therefore didn't bother to vote, even after Maria's brilliant suggestion that voters actually listen to the songs. THIS WILL NOT ABIDE! Let's take a look at the results with Maria, shall we?

If my happy recap is less than stellar this week, well, it's because I had to go back to work. :(

-"Zip-a-dee doo dah" beat "Feed the Birds and will be pitted against "Supercalifrag..." in round 2, which beat "Happy Little Working Song."
-"How You Know" won over "Let's Get Together" and will face "Substitutiary Locomotion" in round 2, which beat "The Ugly Bug Ball."
-People just didn't appreciate Burl Ives enough to vote for "Summer Magic," so "Portobello Road" will face off against "Spoonful of Sugar" in round 2, which beat "Let's go fly a Kite," in which many agreed was one of the most heart-wrenching match-ups we've had so far.
-Finally, "Step in Time" beat "Laughing Place" and will meet "Chim Chim Cher-ee" in round 2, which beat "The Life I Lead." So much Mary Poppins, so little time.

This week, we present a wholly enigmatic bracket. Due entirely to our inability to place these songs into a single coherent genre, we are calling this the Walter Elias Disney Bracket. These songs include themes from rides at Disney World (including both theme songs from the various incarnations of the Carousel of Progress!), a Jim Henson production, and several selections from films released by Disney's various affiliates and et cetera. We apologize for not having these polls for you yesterday, but life got in the way of our side project. How sad when such a thing happens. Anyhow, here are our new polls. You will have until Sunday at 11:59 PM, so make it count!

Yes, friends! Disney owned the Muppets at this point!

Several people commented on the lack of Fantasia songs to which we responded, "Really, people? That's classical music." However, we found it in our hearts to include "The Sorcerer's Apprentice," as it was our belief that Disney really popularized this piece of music and made it its own, so much so that it was even reprised in Fantasia 2000.

And that's it! Now you've seen all 64 songs! After we get the results of this vote we can move on to ROUND TWO, where we will whittle the results down to 16! For now, enjoy the voting!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Round One, Part Three

First of all, I am very upset with all of you for not voting for Oo-de-lally, which is one of the finest songs ever written regardless of its status as a Disney song. Notwithstanding - and hush Maria who is currently underscoring the magnificence of Oo-de-lally, a song much better than Colors of the Wind - on this Easter Sunday, let us see the results of our latest poll. Here's Maria with the Happy Recap:

-"Heigh Ho" triumphed over "Phony King of England," and will face off against "When You Wish Upon a Star," in Round 2, which came out ahead of "Rescue Aid Society." An epic battle between two timeless Disney classics is sure to ensue!
-"Once Upon a Dream" IS CLEARLY BETTER THAN "Oo-de-lally," and will meet "When I See An Elephant Fly" in Round 2, which beat "Everybody Wants to Be a Cat."
-The Songs from the Jungle Book ousted the songs of Cinderella, which means that Round 2 will see a matchup of "Bear Necessities" and "I Wanna Be Like You." Drama abounds!
-Last but not least, "Cruella De Vil" won UNANIMOUSLY over "A Very Merry Unbirthday," and will be up against "Bella Notte" in Round 2, which won a decisive victory over "You Can Fly."

We come now to a rather mysterious bracket. We're calling it the Mary Poppins bracket as songs from this absolutely brilliant movie account for approximately half of contestants herein. What do you expect from a movie was ranked with the likes of My Fair Lady and Dr. Strangelove in the Best Picture category in 1964? These are generally movies that contain at least half live action. Some of the more obscure motion pictures mentioned in this bracket include Summer Magic, the ORIGINAL Parent Trap, and the ever-hated and censored Song of the South! On the subject of this movie, I have been on a near-constant crusade to see the entirety of this picture, as I have only seen clips from Zip-a-dee-doo-dah and Laughin' Place. It seems almost a crime that one of the most popular amusement park rides in Disney World, Splash Mountain, is based on a movie that almost no one has seen as it has been deemed too racially insensitive. Based on what I have seen of the movie, the storyteller, Uncle Remus, exhibits no more racial stereotypes than the portrayal of foreigners in the Indiana Jones series (KALI MA!, Rolls-Royce Phantom II, chilled monkey's brains, "Feel like fortune cookies, Doctah Jones!"). C'mon! Let us see the movie!

This digression has lasted far too long. Let us to the polls! Tally-ho!

I noticed that in the last batch of voting, some polls had more votes than others. We urge you to search for these songs on youtube or grooveshark if you are unfamiliar with any of the songs, since we want to have as many votes as possible. You will have until April 6 at 11:59 PM.

Now vote! Tell all your friends! (Seriously, tell your friends to vote.)

Also, happy Easter, if that's your thing. It's ours. We are currently full of lamb and traditional Greek treats, and are awaiting dessert. If Easter is not your thing, enjoy the rest of your weekend!