Monday, April 18, 2011

Wherein You, THE READER, Decides What Tie I Will Wear at my Wedding...

Saturday was what you could call an "eventful" day for me. Jon and I went searching for something for my groomsmen to wear. It was raining and we were walking down 5th Avenue looking in the windows of all the expensive shops, wondering where Brooks Brothers had hidden its store. We ambled past a store whose window displayed a panama hat similar to the one worn by Harry S Truman - which just so happens to be the hat I wanted to complete my wedding ensemble.

Fig. 1: Harry Truman's ACTUAL panama hat. If someone could kindly steal this from his President Library, that would just be fantastic. Thanks.

That store happened to be J. Press. I'd never heard of the store, but Jon being the Resident Expert that he is informed me that J. Press was the official outfitter of Yale University.
To put a somewhat long story short, I walked into J. Press for a panama hat and left with a very expensive tailored-to-fit seersucker suit.

Fig. 2: Eat your heart out, Atticus Finch!

I told you it was hot. Now, only one thing remains. I plan on wearing a white French-cuffed shirt with my suit, and have decided that a red-colored tie would be most appropriate to make me look like a walking, living, breathing American Flag - that happens to be getting married at the time. Here's the problem, a plain red tie is just - well - too plain for me. It needs a little something extra, and that's where I found myself in this little dilemma. You see, J. Press also sells these amazingly fun emblematic ties, and I have fallen in love with two in particular.
Fig. 3: A multicolored elephant tie - something you'd see someone from a Wes Anderson movie wear.

Fig. 4: A blue whale tie. Also... something you'd most likely see Royal Tenenbaum or "The Businessman" from The Darjeeling Limited wearing

That's where you come in. I need your help, dear readers, in deciding which tie should complement this god among suits. You'll notice that I've added a poll on the right side of my blog where you may feel free to vote to your heart's content.
Also, feel free to send donations to offset the cost of all this Ivy League haberdashery that I've mired myself in. And also - please everyone - remind to tell Maria that she looks so much better than I do on July 2*.

* - I will likely be slapped for this sentence.



    I don't think anyone will need to be reminded that I'm better looking.

  2. This was really difficult for me. On the one hand, not choosing elephants would be denying my Thai heritage, but on the other, come on.

    A wizard has put whales on your tie.

    Is this awesome (Y/Y)?

  3. While I ultimately prefer the elephants, in order to stay true to your American Flag Theme I opted to go with the whales. Sure, America is a colorful nation, but Old Glory is red, white and blue!

    Stay Patriotic. Stay American. Go with the whales.

  4. I think you have to look beyond the superficial and ask yourself where these scenes are taking place. Like for example: I assume since it's red, those whales are probably somewhere other than the ocean. Are they flying whales? Maybe, since they're smiling and by all appearances not dying horribly on a tourist beach in Miami. This is a novel place for a whale, and they seem to want to enjoy it as much as possible. So either we've captured an illusive image of a flock of flying whales on this tie, or someone has chosen to reenact that one scene out of The Hitchhiker's Guide with hundreds more still delightfully oblivious participants.

    Then you have the elephants. I mean, look at them! Trunks raised and marching in unison in what undeniably is an aggressive manner. The red background takes on new importance, since it's conceivable the elephants are walking. What then is staining the ground red? And then there's the colors of the elephants themselves. No natural elephants could look like that. The conclusion is obvious: what we're witnessing is an apocalyptic robotic army of doom elephants advancing across a field of crimson, heralding the dusk of humanity.

    Tough call...


  5. I want the multi-colored whale option! (Someone had to state the obvious, irritating option, might as well be me.)

    I think the blue whales would go better, although really, I don't see how you could go wrong with either.

  6. Whaaaaaaaaaaaale

    Also, according to a very awesome tripod site bedecked with wolves on animal symbolism:

    Elephant- Memory, Strength, Ancient Wisdom, Power

    Whale- Record Keeper for all Eternity, All Knowledge Associated with Voice, Psychic and Telepathic Abilities, All Aspects of the Sea, Beauty of Movement, Creation, Power of Song, Awakening Inner Depths, Ancient Knowledge, Sound Awareness


  7. I just like saying whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaale

  8. "Whales are the spirit of the ocean." - A direct quote from my mother-in-law, as a part of a previously normal dinner conversation not involving talk of the sea.

    I'm generally partial to elephants (go Tufts!) but I like the blue/red color combo on the whale tie better. Is there a less multi-color elephant option?

    <3 Dotty-buttons

  9. The other upshot of having the elephant tie is that I will be borrowing Jon's dad's Democrat suspenders to hold my trousers up. Elephants & Donkeys? Bipartisanship represent!
    I think since the overwhelming majority vote whales, I'll get the elephant bowtie for the reception.

  10. whales!!
    And adam says whales too!