Saturday, March 27, 2010

April Madness: The Quest to find the Best Disney Song EVAR

Ah March. The cherry trees are blossoming in Washington, D.C., a district so angry and spiteful that they saw fit to stamp "Taxation Without Representation" onto their license plates. Maria and I skipped the final line to enter the Charters of Freedom Rotunda because I was able to correctly identify person #11 in Barry Faulkner's mural.
March also means it's impossible to turn on a television or switch on a radio without hearing Dick Vitale's shouting himself hoarse about college basketball. Well, since UConn hasn't made it to the Big Dance, the hell with it all. And baseball season is just around the corner. To HELL with it all!
While idly gathering the last few things for our trip to Our Nation's Capital, I wondered aloud what my favorite Disney song of all time was. Because of the nature of this entry, I will not share the information, but suddenly Maria was struck - WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HER FAVORITE DISNEY SONG?! How could she possibly judge which Timeless Classic was better than the others? In this bracket-fraught month, a decision was made: Maria and I would team up to create the ULTIMATE BRACKET SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMATE DESTINY and behold - we have compiled a list of SIXTY-FOUR Disney Songs that we will bracket off and have you, YES YOU DEAR READER, vote for to decide: THE BEST DISNEY SONG EVAR!
1.) Only one vote per person. Vote more than once, and DEATH SQUADS FROM A POST-APOCALYPTIC FUTURE will be sent to separate your reproductive organs from the rest of your body in an extremely unpleasant way.
2.) Polls will be open for THREE DAYS. Use your time wisely. There is no penalty for guessing. Erase mistakes cleanly and make no stray marks on the Scantron.
3.) You may try to sway others' votes in the comments sections, but keep it clean. (Not strictly enforced by hired nuns with knuckle-bruising rulers.) You can also feel free to tell as many others as you'd like to vote in this poll.
4.) We will be presenting match-ups from one bracket at a time. Example: You will vote in 8 match-ups in the first four rounds, 4 match-ups in the next four rounds, &c. until one song is crowned King/Queen.
5.) Seed numbers were chosen randomly in the following fashion: Maria and I got terribly drunk on butterscotch schnapps, stripped to our skivvies, and threw darts around our hotel room, then put all the songs in a computer which randomly selected the seeds.
6.) Don't yell at us if the song names aren't exactly correct. This is already taking a long time without us having to look up every single song.
7.) If you need a visual, we will post a COMPLETE and ACCURATE graphical representation of the brackets once all of the songs have been revealed, but for now, the rest are a surprise.
Is that clear ladies and gentlemen? Very well then... LET US BEGIN! I wish I could have inserted the sound of a horse race gate opening right here. Maria wishes that it was the guy who says LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

Allow us to present you with "The Lion King Bracket." These songs are from the animated films indicative of OUR generation, from 1984 to the present. Sherman Brothers need not apply. Polls will close at 11:59PM on March 31. Choose wisely, my vikings! (We apologize for the space between polls, but we are amateur bloggers after all... keep going 'til you reach the end!)

(A Battle of the Love Ballads!)

We have some tough decisions ahead of us, but what awaits in the other three brackets? Vote well, and find out soon!


  1. Where are the Wall-e songs???

  2. Greg, as much as I love the Wall-E, the songs in it aren't Disney songs. They're from Hello Dolly, which is a very good musical, but I don't think they should count.

    Alex, I think by the same logic we can't count music from Fantasia, since it's all classical music...but we might have thrown The Sorcerer's Apprentice into Bracket #4. I don't quite remember, but we'll find out!

  3. Your statement is so incorrect that it hurts my eyes to read it! Wall-e won Grammy awards for its original songs 'Define Dancing' and 'Down to Earth!' You have sullied the honor of my good friend wall-e and I will have none of it!

    ::throws gauntlet::